The Napkin Diaries

My [soon to be ex-] boss instilled this awesome delicious make-everyone-fat rule at work... Donut Day. On the first of every month (or sometimes the 2nd if he forgets because I didn't remind him) he brings in like 50 Dunkin Donuts. And there are always way too many to chose from. And I always go for the ones that are completely stuffed full of 9 billion calories of delicious frosting.

I just gorged myself on one with chocolate frosting on the outside and fluffy vanilla frosting on the inside. And I might have stuffed a couple of those Munchkin holes in my face too. And I might have washed everything down with a Diet Mt. Dew.

Please, someone check on me in 20 minutes to make sure I have not gone into diabetic shock.

Okay today started off super shitty -- I had to go to the car dealership for the second time now because not even 48 hours after the last time it was in there, the check engine light came back on... which means I paid them $172 to do nothing. awesome. I also let them know how awesome I thought they were... whatever... so I get to to the office and immediately notice that there is this massive ass package on my desk. and its really heavy. I was like "whatever" and didn't even bother to open it because I figured it had nothing to do with me anyway. Well, about 30 minutes went by, and I was just like, "oh fuck it" so i got a pen and tore the tape off. the inside was packaged really weird -- it had like 12 circular/tube styrofoam pieces in it. I was like "wtf." so then i manage to wiggle one apart... low and behold...
there are 12 bottles of WINE in this glorious box! whaaat?! I immediately considered not telling the rest of my co-workers and taking the entire box home with me. Instead I told them that they have presents here and they have to come pick them up if they want them... I'll give them a week. then those bitches are mine! all mine! muhahaha!

can you hear me now? okay so i changed my phone number last week for two reasons, (a) i moved to charleston and wanted a local number, (b) i don't want sleezy ex-boyfriends or weirdos to have my number anymore. legitimate enough. so the phone works for a week. sweet. on monday i tried to call dave while driving back to simpsonville and instead of your typical "ring ring" i hear, "thank you for using america's roaming network. you will be charged $2.99 per call and $1.99 once the call has connected." well, i mean, fuck that.
so once i got home, i called verizon (from the house phone, not from the million dollar per phone call phone). good thing i used the house phone because i was on it for about 40 minutes with 2 different people. neither of them knew how to fix my phone. and they had me in places of my phone that i didn't even know existed.

so finally the dude i was talking to gave up and told me to just take it into a store. i did just that the very next day... and i got to hang out in the cell phone store for an hour. awesome. so the manager dude is looking at my phone and i say "so i guess this isn't really something you guys see often, huh" manager man is like "no, maybe a few times, but it's pretty rare." other cell phone man next to him responds with "man, i've never seen this!" manager man was like "yeah actually i haven't either. i just didn't want to make you feel bad." well, shit.
so they pass my phone over to the tech guy and i sit down and feel like i am in a waiting room waiting to hear the news of my cell phone's surgery. well, it was fatal. they finally gave up, deemed my cell phone corrupt, bad and defective and gave me a new one. sweet, a shiny new phone without scratches or a crooked antenna. yesss. bad news was that i had to program all my numbers back in manually. lucky for me though, i recently deleted like 83 numbers so i only have like 30 left in there anyway.
so the verizon guys said that they should give me some kind of ribbon proclaiming that "yay, i own the first cell phone to officially stump the entire verizon staff." whatever, at least i got a sweet new phone out of it. maybe i should change my number more often...

This was one of the best weekends I have had in a really long time. And by best, I mean drunk. Interchangable words, really. So, Jayson came into town Friday night. We went to Monterray's at like 6:30, where Joe and Jayson were already drunkish. We started this conversation about how we wanted to buy a kiddy pool and sit in it with rubber duckies and beer.

It progressed to us wanting to buy one of this bigger pools and turn it into a hot tub... and keep it in Dave's room since he was out of town this weekend. Then we embellished. Imagine that. We said the damned thing would probably fall through the floor and Dave would hurt us using his spy techniques for ruining his room. Well, Jayson chimes in with, "quick, I need a 2x4 and some pantyhose!" Apparently, this was his genious solution to our hot tub falling figuratively through the floor. We didn't understand either. But damn, did we find that to be the funniest comment of the weekend. Everything that happened, the solution was "2x4 and pantyhose." Oh no, I spilled my drink; I have insanely dirty feet; an old mistake just walked into the bar -- regardless of the situation, the solution remained constant.
And that is funny. Because of the funniness, I took it upon myself to create a scroll of sayings from the evening. I kept a napkin rolled around a pen and whipped it out anytime someone said something worth remembering.

We went to Esso after Monterray's, where Joe took the liberty of berating one of the girls that works there. She had no idea she was the victim of such ridicule, however. Joe decided the girl looked like a dinosaur based on the largeness of her forehead and positioning of her snout-like nose. Poor girl. This conversation also progressed into a hypothetical about velociraptors. Something about "velociraptors killing a fucker." However, at the time I could not spell this word, so I used phonics. The conversation went like this:
N: is that how you spell it? and pointed to my attempts -- valasa raptor
Jayson: just claim you were using phonetics, bitch.. when you write your blog
N: i don't know how to spell that either!

Joe told me that my spelling attempt looked more like a type of salad dressing choice than a flesh-eating beast. By the way, the picture is Joe's demonstration of the dinosaur girl. Eh. We had our fill of making fun of people and watching Jayson do dumb things, like light his broken cigarette at the end and at the spot where it was broken... and smoke it, and went to TDs. Immediately when we walked into TDs, I felt particularly out of place. This was because everyone in the bar was wearing orange t-shirts. I thought we perhaps had crashed a private gathering. No. Turns out these maniacs were trying to create a $1000 bar tab to get their names nailed to the wall. Whatever. We got free drinks out of it, so cool. This group of girls walked in all decked out with one wearing a sash and tierra. Jayson screamed "Happy Birthday!" The girls turned around and were like, "no, it's a bachelorette party." Jayson responds, "Happy...... Marriage?!" Oh Jayson. You're so drunk. We finished the evening at Tiger Town. By this point we were all wastecases and I no longer can recall particular incidents for you beacuse its blurry from this point on. Sweet. We had high hopes of making it to Tiger Tails Friday night. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, we got shit housed and decided that Beezers and bed was a much better way to end the evening.

Saturday, Megan decided to road trip her happy ass up here. Do the math: Jayson and Megan in town + Joe and Nicole in full fledged bar star mode = drunk. We went downtown already buzzed from playing Power 37 minutes (as opposed to Power Hour). We started at TTTs where Jayson picked up some notepads that were randomly strewn across a table. Beckoning him, of course. He drew us a picture of the 4 of us, anatomically correct of course - me with big hair and big boobs, Jayson short with squinty eyes and Joe and Megan. Ha. He was like "What are there 4 of??" Without skipping a beat, I screamed "Ninja Turtles!"
WTF? So we were the 4 Ninja Turtles. We went to Overtime early to get our signature spot -- the front booth/couch area. And we got so drunk so damn fast. Probably because little miss Megan decided it would be awesome to come back from the bar with a mind eraser and a black & blue shot. Thanks. Keep in mind that these two shots sperate fuck my whole world up. Combined, back to back none the less, makes for seriously fucking up of the world. I went buck freakin' wild. Like, so ridiculous that I was dancing on the couch because, apparently I was too good for the floor, with these two huge black guys who made me kinda look like that scene from Night at the Roxbury. I got sick of stabbing holes in the couch.. so I took off my damn shoes. Gross. Who does that? Really. Didn't even phase me, either; seemed like the most logical idea of the night. Can I please mention that my feet are still black and I scrubbed them for about 30 minutes in the shower today. Ewww. I kinda shudder when I think about what has been on that couch. Then I walked to the car barefoot too. Smart. I honestly can't really give specifics for Saturday night either. All I know is that I did a horrid job trying to take pictures, I had huge hair, Kevin and Leah were there and we danced our asses off. Like I said best/drunkest weekend in a while. I love it.

*to prove my drunkness, I completely failed to mention that the one and only Stephanie was there too. She informed me with this IM:
takenoteladyso...my dancing skills didn't make it into your blog...haha...i felt sure that i created an equally bad scene with my booty skirt and cowboy boots that i for some reason felt were appropriate while i drunkenly contemplated going to OT....you and i were quite a pair on that couch. hahaha your pics of your weekend entertain me!!
and Steph, now that you mention it, I do recall you helping me create a fantastic scene on the couch. So thank you for reminding me (sorry that the Mind Eraser did it's job and I failed to include you in the debauchery). And yes, as I recall, you did help create an equally ridiculous scene. Which is all the more reason I love you.

So, I am officially the new girl at Esso. Wooo Hooo! I am way excited about this job. Candle actually had been hounding my ass about applying for a good month or so and I finally gave in and tried it out. My first day was Monday. It went really well. Minus the smart ass kitchen guys who refuse to call me Nicole and refer to me only as Damn New Girl. But I give them hell back, so they like me. They actually have said they think I am quiet. Ha! I told them to give me a week. They'll see. So today I actually ran around on the floor all by myself. Yay. I have a job. And I managed to get through my first real day with only one screw up. So thank you, Candle, for making me get a job. Heart you.

In other drunk news: last night was karaoke with Ed Miller. Duh. Joe and I drank Christmas (beam and coke, for those of you who have not been keeping up with the blogs). So Candle was all hellbent on singing. I really didnt want to, but she was like "get fucked up and then you will!" so I did. and we did. "Nic and Company" (me, Candle, Joe and Jayson) sang Shot Through the Heart. I was waaaasted. And I sorta took over the performance. Imagine that. I was rockin' my tacky shades and using the mic cord as a dance prop. I also incorporated a few well-placed CHAs into the song. For my fantastic efforts with the cha, Ed Miller rewarded me with free shit. I got to pick from a pile of junk, and of course I went for the biggest, gawdiest, most ridiculous thing I could find: a big ass golf ball with the Miller High Life Light logo plastered across it. Cuuuute. Tacky as shit. Love it. I'm going to display it in the apartment, along with the road sign that I stole this weekend in Charleston that reads Speed Hump. Yesss. Cha! (I will get to the Charleston story momentarily) So, yeah here is a lovely picture of us posing with our ball. Ha. Everyone wanted to touch my ball. I was like no, bitches, it's my ball... so I was drunk. And then I got to take it to Beezer's. Which was amusing. Yay for balls. Ha.

So okay, also in drunker news: I drove to Charleston Saturday to get waaaasted with Megan and Emily. We went to City Bar and did the normal round of 8000 shots and then grinded with the pole. I pretended to dance on it... in all actuality, the pole was the only thing keeping me standing. We left City Bar and ran over to 213. Lucky for us, I had aquired a VIP pass which allowed all of us to weissel in without paying or waiting. Sweet. However, it was way packed out, so we left and went to Wild Wings. Took even more shots. And eventually got kicked out at closing time. Fuuuun. We ate the hell out of the hot dogs that we bought at 2:00 and then we took Emily back so she could pass out and avoid the madness that was to come. The madness came in the form of Thee Southern Belle; the fully nude, trashy ass titty bar in Charleston. They actually have redecorated and now have couches everywhere -- like it looks like theater seating in there. Ridiculous. Also ridiculous that I know they have redecorated. Me, Megan and Andrew sat there for like 4 hours in amazement of how well these girls could shimmy up and down a freakin stripper pole. Around 5:00 am, all the girls pranced out and we got to pick our favorite to go get a private dance from if we wanted to. Our girl Cookie was there! Yesss. (If you recall, over Spring Break, we liked the girl in the girlscout costume, and I appropriately named her Cookie and she had since become our favorite stripper.) So we go in the back room, whereupon she absolutely molested me and Megan. Like, Megan actually held my hand for a second because she was so freaked out. Really funny. Cookie was all swingin her hair on us, breathing in our ears, purring, smacking her ass, biting us, buzzing in our crotches... yes, buzzing. And it is really strange. And I'm not sure exactally how I feel about that still. The girl is nuts. After she was done with her little show, Megan said my name for some reason and Cookie was like, "Nicole?! That's my name, too!" I was like, "I knew I liked her for a reason." So yay, I have the same name as Cookie. Ha. There is an accompliment. What a night. We even got huge t-shirts out of it.. with half naked chicks on the back. Woot.

So today we have learned that it is good to say yay for new jobs, big balls, and stippers.

The End.

As we all know, I am officially out of control. And this out of controllness seems to be fueled when I am in the presence of Joe, Candle and Jayson. I have taken it upon myself to deem us the Fantastic Four. Our sweet powers include, but are not limited to: hydraulics, massive consumption of alcoholic beverages, unlimited amounts of inside jokes referring to BAP, Ronnie, nachos and otters, performances at karaoke TDs resulting in free shit, and the ability to have endless meaningless conversations. Yessss.
Tuesday was a perfect example of all of these way envied abilities. The four of us sang Take Me Home Tonight (of course) and from there on out, it just got crazier every time one or all of us were on that stage. Candle and I ended up being backup dancers, or maybe we actually made the song worthwhile, with Vixxxen while J-Quest and Gabe sang Hey Ya. Lucky for me, I had just made a tacky trucker hat that I was able to use as a dance prop which induced even crazier dancing. The hat says "yes" in rhinestones and has pink ribbon around the edges. [Refer to pictures for full effect] So then, The Nic and Joe Show (yeah, you like that) sang Toxic. That is the best performance Joe and I have ever done. Really. I didn't wear the hat, but I was drunk enough to not care if I danced out to the max. So I did... I did the whole gyrate thing when the song kinda makes the gyrate sound, and really, I heard the bar get really loud. So I just danced more. And they got even louder. It was so freakin awesome to hear everyone screaming and cheering. Then Joe and I would get in the middle of the stage, sing to each other, grind on each other and then go to opposite sides and do our own thing. We didn't plan for it to work that way, it just did. And it was the freakin bomb. Because of my amazing ass-shaking abilities, Ed Miller rewarded me with this teeny little Malibu tanktop that actually barely covers my boobs. Yay for free worthless shit, though.
So basically, I have too much fun, I'm too out of control, I drink too much and I shake my ass too much and I love every freakin second of it. Yesss.

So yeah, karaoke got a little out of control Tuesday night. First, we took over the front table. Really pissed off Vixen and Company. Oh well. We're cooler. And we wear bras. Second, Ed Miller took a mini vacation. Which was really a disapointment. Third, we were complete stage whores. Joe signed us up as "Nicole and Such" to sing Take Me Home Tonight. Lord. Me, Joe, Candle and Jayson all went crazy on stage. Even did the point and thrust. So yeah, we were funny. And it was bound to happen. The four of us sing that song like, ohhh, all the time. So it was only right to perform it drunk for all to witness. Then all of a sudden Vanilla Ice was playing and me and Jon took over one of the microphones and screamed the entire song while using the hydraulics.
We took a mini break and just hung out at the table. Literally. Joe told me to put my stairs away. Yeah, it's an inside joke, I don't really expect many of you to understand. Then I had a text message war with Adam. Well, not really a war. We're dorks and have too much fun with texting, basically. And I just got a new camera phone, so I was very distracted for most of the night. But then again, it's me, and I am kind of one big distraction all the time...
One really cool part -- the awesome bartender gave me a free pitcher! Only charged me for one -- so I tipped him like 120%. Fair. They treat me right.
Then these crazy black people took over the stage to sing Back That Ass Up. Candle and I felt compelled to join. Well, Joe had to kind of push me around a few times, but then I was like "yeah, okay, I should be up there." This massive black dude was all like, "damn girl, you need to be up here in the front so everyone can see those fine ass moves." Guess where I went? To the front. I'm such a stagewhore. I know. Gah. Yeah, I thought I blew out my hydraulics in Charleston. Looks like they are back in business. Yessss.
So then somehow we were the last song of the night -- Shot through the heart and you're to blame, honey, you give love a baaad name! Me, Joe, Candle and Jayson went bananas. Joe and I had the microphones and basically sang to each other most of the time. There was a brief moment where I yelled "Jon Brown, you give love a bad name!" Haha. He cracked up. As did I. And about half the bar. I also incorporated the "Cha" into the lyrics about 6 good times. Ed Miller would have been proud.
The four of us and Jayson's fun friend Chris all went back to Joe's where we made our own Waffle House. This WaHo was much nicer to Candle than the real one. Poor girl. So yeah, I made 12 eggs, Joe made 14 sausages and we all ate the hell out of some breakfast. At one point, we were all silent and Jayson blurts out: why am i trying to put the sausage in my mouth longways? And damnit none of you better quote me! I actually spit milk out of my mouth. Sorry, honey that is too funny to not blog about. LoveyouJayson! God, that kid cracks me up more than anyone else. Candle ended up passing the fuck out like in the middle of the floor, Jayclimbingtrees and Chris went home, and Joe and I stayed up listening to techo and beating the crap out of each other. Sorry we were so loud. Ha.

In other news: I beat gray box Nintendo Wednesday night. It only took me 22 years and 54 men to make Mario 3 my bitch. And don't make fun. You people love me. So be proud.

Last night, Megan and I went to Greenville to hang out with Blair and Matt (or Guff as we like to call him). Ed does karaoke at Wild Wings on Wednesdays so we figured we play the role of true groupies and go see him there. Before we went downtown, we met the boys at El Jalisco. Megan however could not remember the friggin name (and still can't for that matter) and would simply call it Ell all night. Big Blair (Blair's dad) has some magical company credit card and so we got to get a lot of beer and a couple good rounds of shots for free. And free makes everything taste better. Needless to say however, we were all pretty tipsy by about 10:00 when we left to go DT.
We went straight to Wild Wings. Enter: extremely drunk phase. Wild Wings gives free redbull on Wednesday! There IS a God! And booooy did we get shit-tay! Woot Woot. So yeah, we take our respective seats at the very front table with the strange girl from Tuesday night who was anti-bra with anger management issues, though she was actually a really sweet thing. Even if she did have spikes around her neck... So yeah, she decided to sing, and she is actually really good. She got on the table because she thinks she is Avril Lavigne and proceed to molest me via microphone. Really. Like sang all to me, grabbed my chin, batted her eyes. Megan kinda grunted and grabbed me. Thanks. It was sort of strange. So in honor of my lesbianish come-on, we took about 5 jager bombs. I suppose that because the bomb was free, they chose to be stingy with it... yeah so basically there was not so much bomb. And whoa that jager must have been mad at me for neglecting it lately because he kicked my hydraulic ass last night. Lord. So of course I lose all inhibitions and decided that I too should dance on tables. So I busted a move on a table top, Megan joined me and we put on a show; well, until the bouncer came in and shook his head at us and made us get back on ground level. Oops.
So as we were cracking up about our little performance, Avril and her two sidekicks come over and, Ishityounot, ask to touch my boobs! wtf? They told me that they just thought they were really pretty. I said that they were real, not fake, and they were like, we know, we could tell and that is why we wanted to touch them. I said "Ummm, thanks, but no sorry, you can't." So Megan and Blair grabbed them instead. Thanks guys. I love being molested. Ha. Ed was also excited about my boobs Wednesday night. Apparently they were a hit... I dunno. It's not technically my fault...
We decided we wanted to go to Platinum pretty soon but first we wanted to sit outside and get some fresh air. No big deal right? Well it wouldn't have been if all the chairs weren't freakin' chained together! If I pulled on one, the person next to me or across from me couldn't squeeze in. So we played musical chairs for about 5 minutes before we all found a seat that we could sit on without having our circulation cut off from being wedged in between the table and chair. I think we had to sit at 3 different tables between the 4 of us. Awesome. We're idiots.
So then we went to Platinum. Megan had to drive us because all those jagers with not so much bomb kind of kicked the rest of our asses. We busted up in there with our free passes and ran straight for the front of the stage. I'd like to take this moment to thank Platinum Plus for the wheely chairs. They make life, especially life in the strip club, a lot more fun. At some point all four of us took our turns giving the nice naked stripper girls some dollas. The one I chose told me I was pretty. That's sweet. I swear they are all bi in there. Eh, whatever, that's why I go with boys-- they can save me if necessary. Well if you can believe it, Megan and I ended up giving Matt and Blair their own little lap dances That is so unlike us... I stopped because I didn't really want to get kicked out of the nudey bar for taking away from the strippers. I have been yelled at for doing that before. True story. They don't want you stealing the naked girls' thunder. Especially when their thunder comes in the form of nakedness. Blair and Matt were so belligerant that they really could not see straight. Really. Blair told me. And that's bad news. So poor Megan, the one who doesn't know squat about Greenville is the one driving our drunk asses back to Simpsonville. (There was no way in hell we were driving back to Clemson). We all passed out... apparently... well we assumed that's what happened since we woke up and didn't remember falling asleep. And damnit was I hung over Thursday. Like whoa.
It was worth ever minute of that hang over too. That is the most fun I have had in a really long time. So a big thanks to Megan, Matt and especially Blair for Wild Wild Wings Wednesday fun. Love you people.

So I survived the Senior Walk. Amazing. And amazingly fun also. We began our adventure at 6:30 Monday night at Esso. It was the first mexi-Monday of the season. Woot Woot. That in itself calls for a celebration. Esso was giving a free beer to everyone sporting the SW shirts. So hot. Wearing tshirts downtown is the bomb. The sign at Esso said something about "Party with Cookie." I immediately cracked up as my imagination took me back to Spring Break where I received that splendid lap dance from Cookie the Girlscout Stripper. I wonder if it's the same Cookie. I'd like to find out. She can give me another crazy lap dance. Maybe. It was kinda weird. I still don't know if I was supposed to like it or not.
We then went to Peppino's Pizza where we got $1 slices of pizza. Do you understand how exciting that is? Ate the hell out of it too. Again, praise to the almighty tshirt; aka fat disguiser. That deserves a woot woot too. (by the way, the woot woot has been pirated from Dan Lavander.)
Once we filled ourselves up on grease and carbs, it was time to start the reeeal drinking. To Overtime we go. Megan and I decided we wanted a shot. Oooh, there's a surprise. So we asked David what one of those badass shots were named that he made for us last week. I cracked up when I learned the name... Piece of Ass. So Megan has to say to the bartender "Hey, can I get a... uhhh... piece of ass...??" Ha! Best piece of ass I had all night. Actually it was the only ass I had all night. Damn good too. So then we drowned ourselves in Long Island, Red Death, Jager Bombs, Apple Bombs... you know, all the good stuff - especially the forbidden Mind Eraser. Who invented that shit? And how is it that there are morons like us that actually enjoy rotting our livers with such a drink?! I want to thank you, Mr. Mind Eraser, for all the good times you have given me. You rock out to the max. Oh, and apparently I coined that saying last night too. Everything was "too the max." Examples include but are not limited to: You suck to the max; he is gay to the max; I can shake my ass to the max; that bouncer is the bomb to the max. So David, hot bartender and bouncer walked by last night and I was like "I just want to like pet his muscles." He had way hot arms...to the max. So Megan is like "HEY! David! Come here" And proceded to give me the okay to feel him up. I got all embarassed and refused to uncross my arms or look up. Sometimes I revert back to acting 10. It happens. Whatever. So we took about 20 pictures at Overtime. Ones consisting of some of the girls dancing on the tent pole as well as Joe attaching signs that say "Under 21" and "Over 21" with arrows pointing to his crotch. Typical Joe for you.
Then Megan and I snuck away to Backstreets. Where we consumed a whole apple bomb each. No wonder I was wired until 6 fucking am... I managed to smack my ass into the owner of TTT's. He was playing pool. My mammoth ass ran into him. I think I was just standing there and it leaned over and punched him. He didn't seem to mind really. I also got hit on my two strange guys named Herman and Dan. Can I just say that Herman is one of the most God-awful names ever? I mean, who does such damage to their own child? Bastards. They told me I looked "very nice this evening" I wanted to be like "dudes, Im in a tshirt, a brightass orange skirt, Im slightly disheveled and I have beer stains already.... what part of that constitutes very nice?"
Whatever. So we went back to Overtime. Because apparently we are addicted. Next we did a lap through Tiger Town Tavern. Really it was just long enough to grafitti the walls and ceiling in the girls' bathroom. MEEN Girls were here! Senior Walk 2005, Bitches!! Enough of that.
So we peaced out and went to Loose Change. This was our 6th stop of the adventure. There was a strange old black man jamming out to the band. Of course he asked me to dance. All strange old black men love me. God, I'm on fire. I declined the offer. All the girls could not believe I could refuse such a hunk. Sike. Eww. Why do creepy old men do such things? So whatever, I drank some beer, signed some shirts, got a little loud, took some pictures... you know the drill. Asian Jayson and Karla were there. It appeared that we all seemed to follow the other around all night. Kinda funny cause you get to be like "Gah quit following me. Stalkers don't make friends."
Then we went to TD's. The Berkley Girls gave us a free pitcher of beer. Woot Woot again. I was way trashed in TD's. I kept stealing everyone's cups and writing "I Love Nicole" on them. Apparently I was full of myself last night... what else is new. Kidding. I'm only cocky and abbrasive on special occassions. Senior Walk was special. Therefore enter cocky and abbrasive. We vandalized the piss out of the bathroom here too of course. I think we actually did at every bar. However, I would forget I had a Sharpie and instead I would just sit and makeout with my drink. Because hey, who wants to write on walls when you can make out with alcohol? By this time I decided I needed dinner #2. So we hauled back to Peppino's. When my number was called, I happily pranced in to retrieve my eats. I then went to get some napkins since I can be quite a disaster.... and god, was I one... so as I am pulling for the napkins, I tilt my plate; thus causing one of my slices of pizza to fall to the ground and the other one to run smack into the middle of my wayhot SW shirt. Nooooo!! I looked puzzlingly at the pizza on the floor for a few seconds, stuck out my bottom lip, grabbed it and ran outside. I had cheese stuck to the front of my shirt and grease dripping down me. How sad. And how stupid! I was so embarassed. I wouldn't look up. I just picked the melted cheese off of my shirt and made a frowny face and grunted with every cheese chunk I pulled off and slung to the ground. We ate the floor pizza. Stephanie is alive, so it was okay. I guess. However I had a miserable pizza grease stain on the middle of my shirt for the remainder of the night. Megan stole a sign that said "Caution Do Not Enter." I strategically held it over my miserable grease clot while I pranced down the street back to Overtime. I didn't really care at that point though, so I proudly displayed my grease. Megan wrote on my shirt explaining that Tina did it and also that it was the pizza that was stuuupid... not Nicole. When in all actuality, it was in fact Nicole that was completely to blame for the horrid stain. Idiot. Me,Megan and Joe stayed at Overtime for the rest of the night. Drinking, making fun of idiot girls trying to dance. God, they were horrible... and you know, just being glad that we had each other to sit with and rag on others.
All in all, Senior Walk 2005 was a success. I really do have the best friends. I love all of you so much and I am glad I can participate in drunken festivities with all of you... a BIG Woot Woot for Senior Walk!!

So last night was karaoke. duh. We've established that we love our Tuesdays. This Tuesday was a little different however. First, I got to spend so much time with Emily. She hasn't been able to go out a lot this semester (Erin also) because both have been student teaching. It was so wonderful to have Emily sitting across the table from me, giving me the good advice that I miss so much. She keeps my head on straight. I am so proud of you, Emily. You are so amazing and I love you more than I think I know how to tell you.
Sorry, sappy... its all this graduation shit that is making me a complete mushpot. really. Mushpot. Whatever. So, Emily bought us this crazy drink called the "Mind Eraser." I would like to take this opportunity to insert an IM composed by my long lost Anna:

Anna: most sensible people when they see a drink called a mind eraser: "Hm, I should probably stay away from that."
Auto response from Neecole228: i am not responsible for my actions last night. i had a drink called a mind eraser.
Anna: Nicole Cononie when encountering a drink called a mind eraser: "Give me 4."
Anna: i miss you

And by the way, it does erase your mind -- actually it just erases your ability to control any given action that you would otherwise not do. For instance: sing on stage 3 times willingly. One time with Megan and Michael - well, more so with Michael because Megan got all emotional and had to run away, leaving me with a microphone screaming "Lets get naked! Take off your top Megan, where the hell are you?! I need you! NOW" And I sing so well. Ha. Then I sang again with those two and like really, I just cried on stage for most of it -- we sang "Time of your Life" by Greenday. Holyshit. Talk about being an emotional basketcase. Me, Megan and Emily just stood up there and hugged while Michael sang pretty much. I still held on to the other microphone, but I just got tears on it. I kept my sunglasses on - like they made me invisible or something.
Then I don't remember what else happend, but I ate Beezers and it was the shit and then I passed out. I woke up in my cool Hot 98.1 t-shirt and some camo boxers. Damn I am one sexy beast.