2x4s and Pantyhose

This was one of the best weekends I have had in a really long time. And by best, I mean drunk. Interchangable words, really. So, Jayson came into town Friday night. We went to Monterray's at like 6:30, where Joe and Jayson were already drunkish. We started this conversation about how we wanted to buy a kiddy pool and sit in it with rubber duckies and beer.

It progressed to us wanting to buy one of this bigger pools and turn it into a hot tub... and keep it in Dave's room since he was out of town this weekend. Then we embellished. Imagine that. We said the damned thing would probably fall through the floor and Dave would hurt us using his spy techniques for ruining his room. Well, Jayson chimes in with, "quick, I need a 2x4 and some pantyhose!" Apparently, this was his genious solution to our hot tub falling figuratively through the floor. We didn't understand either. But damn, did we find that to be the funniest comment of the weekend. Everything that happened, the solution was "2x4 and pantyhose." Oh no, I spilled my drink; I have insanely dirty feet; an old mistake just walked into the bar -- regardless of the situation, the solution remained constant.
And that is funny. Because of the funniness, I took it upon myself to create a scroll of sayings from the evening. I kept a napkin rolled around a pen and whipped it out anytime someone said something worth remembering.

We went to Esso after Monterray's, where Joe took the liberty of berating one of the girls that works there. She had no idea she was the victim of such ridicule, however. Joe decided the girl looked like a dinosaur based on the largeness of her forehead and positioning of her snout-like nose. Poor girl. This conversation also progressed into a hypothetical about velociraptors. Something about "velociraptors killing a fucker." However, at the time I could not spell this word, so I used phonics. The conversation went like this:
N: is that how you spell it? and pointed to my attempts -- valasa raptor
Jayson: just claim you were using phonetics, bitch.. when you write your blog
N: i don't know how to spell that either!

Joe told me that my spelling attempt looked more like a type of salad dressing choice than a flesh-eating beast. By the way, the picture is Joe's demonstration of the dinosaur girl. Eh. We had our fill of making fun of people and watching Jayson do dumb things, like light his broken cigarette at the end and at the spot where it was broken... and smoke it, and went to TDs. Immediately when we walked into TDs, I felt particularly out of place. This was because everyone in the bar was wearing orange t-shirts. I thought we perhaps had crashed a private gathering. No. Turns out these maniacs were trying to create a $1000 bar tab to get their names nailed to the wall. Whatever. We got free drinks out of it, so cool. This group of girls walked in all decked out with one wearing a sash and tierra. Jayson screamed "Happy Birthday!" The girls turned around and were like, "no, it's a bachelorette party." Jayson responds, "Happy...... Marriage?!" Oh Jayson. You're so drunk. We finished the evening at Tiger Town. By this point we were all wastecases and I no longer can recall particular incidents for you beacuse its blurry from this point on. Sweet. We had high hopes of making it to Tiger Tails Friday night. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, we got shit housed and decided that Beezers and bed was a much better way to end the evening.

Saturday, Megan decided to road trip her happy ass up here. Do the math: Jayson and Megan in town + Joe and Nicole in full fledged bar star mode = drunk. We went downtown already buzzed from playing Power 37 minutes (as opposed to Power Hour). We started at TTTs where Jayson picked up some notepads that were randomly strewn across a table. Beckoning him, of course. He drew us a picture of the 4 of us, anatomically correct of course - me with big hair and big boobs, Jayson short with squinty eyes and Joe and Megan. Ha. He was like "What are there 4 of??" Without skipping a beat, I screamed "Ninja Turtles!"
WTF? So we were the 4 Ninja Turtles. We went to Overtime early to get our signature spot -- the front booth/couch area. And we got so drunk so damn fast. Probably because little miss Megan decided it would be awesome to come back from the bar with a mind eraser and a black & blue shot. Thanks. Keep in mind that these two shots sperate fuck my whole world up. Combined, back to back none the less, makes for seriously fucking up of the world. I went buck freakin' wild. Like, so ridiculous that I was dancing on the couch because, apparently I was too good for the floor, with these two huge black guys who made me kinda look like that scene from Night at the Roxbury. I got sick of stabbing holes in the couch.. so I took off my damn shoes. Gross. Who does that? Really. Didn't even phase me, either; seemed like the most logical idea of the night. Can I please mention that my feet are still black and I scrubbed them for about 30 minutes in the shower today. Ewww. I kinda shudder when I think about what has been on that couch. Then I walked to the car barefoot too. Smart. I honestly can't really give specifics for Saturday night either. All I know is that I did a horrid job trying to take pictures, I had huge hair, Kevin and Leah were there and we danced our asses off. Like I said best/drunkest weekend in a while. I love it.

*to prove my drunkness, I completely failed to mention that the one and only Stephanie was there too. She informed me with this IM:
takenoteladyso...my dancing skills didn't make it into your blog...haha...i felt sure that i created an equally bad scene with my booty skirt and cowboy boots that i for some reason felt were appropriate while i drunkenly contemplated going to OT....you and i were quite a pair on that couch. hahaha your pics of your weekend entertain me!!
and Steph, now that you mention it, I do recall you helping me create a fantastic scene on the couch. So thank you for reminding me (sorry that the Mind Eraser did it's job and I failed to include you in the debauchery). And yes, as I recall, you did help create an equally ridiculous scene. Which is all the more reason I love you.

Dedicated to My Partner in Crime

About 4 years ago, I signed up to live in Lightsey I on campus with Emily and Brooke. We didn't know anyone else (or like anyone enough) to have a 4th roommate. Somehow someone's mom worked with someone's dad and we found out about this girl named Erin. I would like to take this opportunity to thank whomever it was that knew the other person that made it possible for Erin to become my roommate, because not only did you become the best roommate ever, you have become my absolute best friend. It seemed like we clicked immediately from the start -- even though I was the overly bold loud one and you were the adorable sweet southern one. Who knew? I am so very thankful that I have you in my life. You have helped me through so much that I'm not really sure how to thank you for it all. And you've never judged me -- whether I was demonstrating compromising positions on the magic carpet, walking around in my crab pants screaming about the trash, standing in tootie water up to my ankles with you, requesting a toast fairy on mornings I couldn't quite get sober, whooooping across the apartment, spending too much money at target, bouncing big balls around walmart, leaving notes about our trashy apartment, or just sitting in my underwear whining about the day's problems, you've always listened, always helped and always been so sincere. I love you. Thank you for being you. My life is better because I have you in it. Happy Birthday, Erin.

Remember These?

I found one of those ridiculous quizzes that we all used to email to each other in like 9th grade. I decided to be 14 again today and fill this bitch out. Ha.

Who was the last person that?

1. you hung out with?
The Esso Club staff that was scheduled today -- Katie, Ashley, Sarah, Jordan and Candice.

2. Saw you cry?

3. Went to the movies with you?

4. You went to the mall with?

Erin. It was fabulous.

5. You went to dinner with?
Dave. We went to Denny's. We;re old.

6. You talked on the phone to?
Mom, I think

7. Said 'I love you' to you and really meant it?

8. Broke your heart?
Wow, long time ago. Blair. but things are definitely cool now.

9. Made you laugh?
my boss, Candice. She threw ranch dressing on me at work, on accident. Ha!

Would you rather?

1. Pierce your nose or tongue?
well, I tried to get my tongue pierced, but they screwed up.

2. Be serious or be funny?
funny, man.

3. Drink whole or skim milk?
I'd prefer to drink whole, however I drink skim milk so I don't gain 20 pounds.

4. Die in a fire or drown?
I chose life.

5. Spend time with your parents or enemies?
Parents. My family is the bomb.

What do you prefer?

1. Flowers or candy?
Either is awesome

2. Grey or black?
Black. Duh.

3. Color or Black and white photos?
I print mostly in color. Except for a select few that are exceptionally sweet or sentimental.

4. Lust or love?
Love is awesome. If love is not available however, lust can be a hell of a good time.

5.Sunrise or Sunset?
Start drinking at sunset until sunrise.

6. M&Ms or Skittles?

8. Staying up late or waking up early?
Stay up entirely too late.

Answer Truthfully!!

1. Do you like anyone?
hmmm. Dave, maybe?

2. Do they know it?
yeah man, he actually knew before he was supposed to.

Do you prefer...

1. Sun or moon?

2. Winter or Fall?
neither. summer.

3. Left or right?

4. 10 acquaintances or having two best friends?
2 best friends

5. Sunny or rainy?
sunny, please.

6. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?
vanilla! mmmm.

7. Vodka or Jack?
vodka i suppose.

A B O U T Y O U!

1. What time is it?

2. First and middle Name

Nicole Christine

3. Nickname(s):
Nic, Nee, Cononononieee, Nicole Fucking Cononie

4. What is your birth date?
February, 28 1983. That was Fat Tuesday, bitches!

5. What do you want?
a 350 Z, a big brick house, a ton of money, friends and family close by, good health, hot husband, and to be a hell of a counselor

6. Where do you want to live?
on the beach

7. How many kids do you want?

ewwww, kids. i have Tucker the cat for now. Maybe in a lot of years I'll end up with 2 of 'em, though.

8. You want to get married someday?
Yeah, man.

9. What's your current relationship status?
Dave is my boyfriend.

10. What exactly are you wearing right now?
pink wifebeater w/ white one underneath, AE jeans, pink and orange knecklace, no shoes.

6. What is your current problem?
i need to do laundry and my room is a disaster. big issues here, people.

7. What do you love most?
I mean can I answer this honestly? Because really good sex is high on the "love most" list.

8. What makes you most happy?
being tan as hell and not having anything that needs to be done

9. Are you musically inclined?
i dance well to music. and i played the sax when i was younger. and yes, i realize that neither of those really answers the question and that is how i will leave it.

10. If you could go back in time, and change something, what would it be?
a few of those stupid boyfriends in high school. ugh.

11. Ever have a near death experience?

12. Name an obvious quality you have?
i'm creative. and tacky. and funny. that's 3. sorry.

13. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
dance dance, fall out boy

14. Any celeb you would marry?
no, but they could give me some of their damn money.

15. Who will cut and paste this first?
i hope no one does because this is so cheesy.

16. Name someone with the same birthday as you:
matt mullinax - yay!

17. Do you have a crush on someone?
that Dave guy

18. Have you ever vandalized someone's private property?
i egged a car once

19. Have you ever been in a fight?
fist fight? no.

20. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
hi, have you met me? and have you ever been to karaoke tuesday??

21. What's the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex?
eyes. hips, if he's half naked...

22. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
i dunno.

23. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
riiiight. i run into so much shit on accident that doing it on purpose would be really really dumb.

24. Say something totally random about you?
i own orange stillettos

25. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
yeah. katie holmes.

26. How old are you?

27. Do you wear a watcH?

28. Do you have anything pierced?
ears, belly, tragus

29. Do you have any tattoos?
hell no

30. Do you like pain?
do people really say yes to this question?

31. Do you like to shop?
holy crap, yes.

32. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?

jeans, shirt and shorts at american eagle.

33. What was the last thing you paid for with a credit card?
jager bombs

34. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
didn't I already answer this? well, if texts count, it was Adam.

35 What is the background on your computer?
me and Dave

36. What is on the background of your cell?
some flower with a butterfly.

37. Do you like redheads?
Erin is a redhead. I like her.

38. Do you know any twins?
The Hewetts and the Carinos

39. Do you have any weird relatives?
who doesn't?

40. What was the last movie you watched?
16 Blocks. and it was good!

41. What was the last book you read?
i don't read books.

42. Did you or are you planning to go to college?
liked it so much i decided to stick around and get a master's.

43. What is your favorite pair of pants that you own?
i own 5 pairs of the same indigo wash jeans from american eagle... so all of those.

44. Do you like to party?
i mean, maybe once in a while... you know that's not really my style. ha.

how fun was that? and how bored am i? if you made it all the way through this, you're a rockstar. thanks for playing!