for joe

i realize that i am only writing this for joe, but i don't mind letting everyone know just how amazing i think he is. i'm gonna be a sappy ass and i'm going to alude to some inside jokes, so its possible that the only person that will actually enjoy this entry is joe. which is really all that matters anyway. so joe, this is for you...

j o e --
you are wonderful. and i love you.
i'll start with that.

following that, i figured that the least i could do for you is write an entry in honor of your wonderfulness. i'm not exactly sure how we fell into each other's lives to begin with, and then i'm really not sure how we became each other's better halves, but i thank god that we did. you are my best friend. you really are. with you, i can do anything. you allow me to show you the real nicole. the nicole that shakes when she's nervous, that can't hold eye contact as long as she wants, that gets all insecure about her new found crazy hair, that uses 'i don't know' as an answer for everything (especially important things), and that is basically one big walking disaster. you've let me into your life. you've allowed me to cross boundries that you didn't even know existed. and we got to cross them together. i'm actually getting all teary sitting here trying to find words to express just how incredibly much you mean to me... and holy hell, we have gone to hell and back, floated around in purgatory and then danced around the obscene more times than any two people ever should. especially so young. and not even technically dating or whatever. and you know what? i wouldn't change a thing. you have definitely given me the most fucking dramatic summer of my life, but also the best. nothing can ever take that from us either.
and good god, the fun we have had -- the nights we've gone out and sang toxic, the nights i've danced on the bar, the nights you've cooked dinner for me, the times we pounded bottle after bottle of wine on a wednesday night watching mafia movies, the times we just sat in silence together, the hugs, the tears, the laughter, the drunkenness, the soberness, the pool... can i continue? well, i mean, i'm going to anyway... let me go ahead and stick in a blurb of all the inside shit we've come up with this summer:

can i get a morphine drip? one, two ways? i have three bottles of wine and boonedock saints, let's go. we should ask jesus to come too. i need him. i also need jim the hippo sippy cup. he's green. and that's my favorite. what is this?! i need an adult. could you teach me to dance, hospital style? i mell moke. and i need you to check my downstairs. can i borrow your rackets? i need to do the dance. oh and can we please stay up and listen to techno and talk about headboards? or watch pimp my ride at 3:00 in the afternoon while it's raining and see what kind of ideas we get. and oh yeah, can you make a stripper pole? and feed me dollars when i dance on it? i beat mario. thanks for the support. i hate mario 2 though. thanks for the meat, and for plugging my hole. good pancakes. ronnie said that you're toxic. can i borrow your windshield? it makes me feel invisible. thanks for giving me a designated craft station in 102 f. sorry my room beeps too much. sorry you own taz shorts. for real. i promise to return all of your clothing evenutally. beer forts are cool. so are pool floats. and ninja parties at the pool. save an otter. wear a floaty. do i have boat eyes? lets go to the thrift store again. i'll be on lap duty any time you need me. will you wear the sailboat shirt or maybe even mathcounts? i dare you to take a shower and not have to take a break. are you drunk? get used to it! go eat a hotdog, gah. and get some cookie dough while you're at it. is this skirt socially unacceptable? did you say something about handcuffs? i swore i could have heard you say handcuffs? wanna make breakfast? thanks for being on nicole time. thanks for playing 90s music. yay for the deadbolt. yay for out of control hair. if i take a canoe to paris, will you push me? thanks for letting me use the tiki surfer guy. but i came in for tonsils! america, fuck yeah! blinky! run!

the list doesn't seem to end. i have so much fun with you.
i know you are in my life for a reason. i don't exactly know the reason yet, but i know its huge. i really don't ever want to know what life is like without joe. the times we've fought and i thought i might lose you were some of the worst feelings i've ever experienced. i am so blessed to have you and just hope that i get to continue to share so much with you. thank you for adding so much to my life, joe. i smile when i think about you. and yeah, sorry that everyone but me knows that we are apparently perfect for each other. hi, my name is idiot. but if you'll let me, i'll be your favorite tard for as long as i can. i'm lucky to have gotten to have so much of you. you are an amazing person. i hope you know that. you're the bomb diggity. yep.
thank you for making me face things about myself that i didn't think i could, thank you for teaching me how to calm down, thank you for letting me teach you that being unprepared is okay sometimes, thank you for opening up to me, thank you for letting me open up to you, thank you for letting me be your beautiful pain in the ass.

thank you for being you.
i need you. i love you.

always - nic

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