The Napkin Diaries

so i almost busted my ass in the kitchen on a huge puddle of water. wtf? yeah. i actually said that. apparently our awesome washing machine has decided to throw up all over the kitchen. maybe my kitchen is just preparing itself for the frickin hurricane that is coming to charleston. it's like night of the water war all over again, except this time there are no humans with pots of water running around, just the aftermath that was left on the floor is here (which is a lot less fun than pots of water to throw, by the way). the citadel already cancelled classes for thursday because of it. and dave and i just realized that our apartment complex is in one the mother effing flood zone areas.
but back to the washing machine issue...i'm here by myself all day. with tucker. which means all i have to deal with today is a flooded kitchen and gigantic bugs that tucker brings inside. i mean, all i wanted to do was be a sweet, domestic little house wife, apparently though, that is too much to ask.
and that was going to be my life's backup plan. shit.

oh yeah, and my cure for the flooded kitchen comes in the form of a giant pink towel... to soak up the water... which i fully intend to leave in that exact spot until dave gets home to fix it.

um, tucker just came in from the porch with these two monster wings dangling from his jaw. and he took the beastly bug back to his food bowls. and now all i hear is bzzzz bzz bzzzz bzz bzbz bzz because i assume that he has released the bug from his mouth and is now smacking him furiously into the wall. i am afraid to go look... based on the loudness of the bug wings, i would venture to say he is large and pissed off.
oh wait, tucker just brought him to me. my theories were correct. he is large, pissed off and quite frightening. i have to leave the room now for fear that i might die if the thing actually takes flight.

who else is sick of driving, raise your hand? good lord, i feel like i live in the car! blah. dave and i went to waynesville this weekend, which is only a 4 hour drive, but i've been doing 4 hour drives all summer, so they make me want to puke now. well actually the drive was a little longer because we had to stop at denny's. i mean we HAD to... it's denny's and we love it. and its so ridiculous because it's not like either of us is just going for the sake of the other; we both are seriously obsessed with denny's pancakes. that how we know we are meant to be: our extreme passion for everything denny's. the day i figure out how to order country fried steak and apple pancakes will be the most glorious day. (no catherine, it's no biscuitville, but i mean, it's frickin denny's and you gotta love that.)
so i got to meet a lot of dave's family (finally). i mean, it's been a year, i suppose i should know who these people are. apparently there was a big rumor going around that dave was going to propose to me saturday, so we were all sitting around the kitchen table and everyone was just kinda staring at us... waiting. nothing happened. dave was like "yeah, let me finish eating my salami and cheese sandwich real quick then i'll get on my knee... not exactly the perfect place to propose." ha, thanks babe. the idea did cross my mind though. it made my hands sweat.
so i got the shit beat out of me on the lake sunday. it was sweet. jeff (dave's dad) pulled me on the "Y" which is like a big tube, but instead its in the shape of a "Y" and it goes by the name of "Y-not." well y-not threw my ass off twice. well, actually i guess it was jeff's doing... anyway, i thought i was going to semi drowned one time because i went under water and i didn't really understand where i was or what just happened. and my arms almost got pulled out of their sockets. you know when the driver decides to take the boat in a circle and it throws you to the side of the wake and makes you bounce like 5 feet in the air? well, yeah, that happened and i was trying to be a hardass and hang on. or maybe i was just too scared to let go. needless to say, i was thrown and went under water and got a ton of it up my nose. i was seriously disoriented when i came to the surface. and being the stubborn ass that i am... i got back on and did it all again. this time though, i was able to hold on when jeff tried to throw me off, it wasn't until y-not decided to fucking flip over that i fell off. i was pissed that i made it that far and then just all of a sudden got flipped over. wtf. and i got some serious wind/sun burn. so now i look super sexy. ha.
so yay for dave's family, salami sandwiches, and speed boats. super good weekend.

i feel like i've grown up a lot in the past year or two, and for a few good reason. i graduated college, began grad school, got serious with dave and moved in with him, and just stopped acting like i was still 21. i feel like most of my friends have grown up the way i have, also. it's hard to explain, but it seems that the love and respect we have for each other has grown too - especially the respect.
i guess i'm just at a point where i realize that some people aren't going to change. they will continue to use me and walk all over me and just expect me to be there whenever needed. and that smells like bullshit, if you ask me. i think i am a really genuine person and a very good friend. hell, i know i am. and it's not fair to feel like some people abuse that. yeah it's true that i don't hold grudges and i will always give second, third... ninth chances, but that doesn't mean that you should allow yourself to let me give you that ninth chance, you know? i'm sick of it.
it's sad because i know i've grown apart from people that i used to be really close with. or at least i feel differently about them, mostly for the reasons i listed above just about feeling walked all over. and another thing that totally pisses me off is to hear that someone is "only friends with dave for nicole's sake." really? what the fuck? you know, if you don't like him, or can't even try to like him and you are supposed to be one of my closest friends, then fuck you. i'm going to marry this man and if all you have to say is negative things about him, then either don't be friends with us anymore, or get over it. because i'm not just nicole anymore, i come with dave now. we're a couple and we are always going to be. do not insult either of us.
i realize this is one of the angriest blogs i've written, but i feel too strongly to not write about it. it's shitty to know that i always gave someone the benefit of the doubt, even when other people would speak poorly, and in return, i get belittled. i end up feeling like shit by someone whom i've stuck up for time and time again. and what do i get out of it? looking at it, it seems like things just changed, i guess. or maybe i just see things for what they really are finally... i'm sad and hurt and angry. i was a good friend.

i want to share with you the conversation dave and i had at some point in the middle of last night:

nic: you have to reach higher!
dave: why? what?
nic: i shouldn't have to explain it to you. [sigh] you should know.
dave: what do you need me to reach for.
nic: i cannot believe you are asking me this! if you don't know then i'm not telling you!
dave: nic, i don't know what you want.
nic: if you don't know by now then just forget it.
dave: nicole, what are you talking about?
nic: what? damnit. i think i am asleep.
dave: you asked me to reach higher, what for?
nic: lives.
dave: what? lives?
nic: for mario.
dave: bursting into laughter
nic: don't touch me i'm hot!
dave: okay.
nic: sorry, i guess i was talking in my sleep. don't touch me.
dave: um, okay? goodnight?
nic: grunt.

needless to say, i have no idea what was actually going on in my dream or what provoked me to freak out in my sleep. dave and i did, however, play mario 3 for hours on end last night, which may account for my need for more "lives" if you will. wtf