I'm HA-Larious (or maybe just drunk)

i wrote this tonight on my myspace page and i actually laughed at myself. enjoy:

funny side note: a few years ago, i thought my eyes were going bad. so i went to the eye doctor and ended up with glasses. my parents thought i just wanted to be trendy and get super cute glasses. then they tried on my glasses only to realize that, they too, were blind as shit. they were like "crap! we're blind as shit too." good thing i got glasses. otherwise, there'd be a lot of blind cononies without hot frames driving around.
also, on hangover days, i have to drink milk. i can't drink water because it's too thin and reminds me of things like vodka and three wise men shots. milk reminds me of childhood. and i wasn't drunk then.
i wear a hair tie on my left wrist everyday. it has to match my shirt. i never actually pull my hair back though. don't ask question.
oh, also, i very much prefer plastic cups to glass. i break glass. and sometimes i even break plastic, like my pink plastic wine glass i broke in college because i was drunk and slipped on my too-long pajama pants. i ended up on the kitchen floor with a giant ass bruise, literally, ass-bruise, and a broken wine glass that was plastic. i saved my wine though. and i drank it. then i had to drink milk the next day.

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Hoooo-raise

So, I just have to celebrate! Today, my boss came into my office, and the dialog was something like this:
Boss: Do you have any manila folders?
Nicole: Well, not manila, but folders.
Boss: Okay, what do you have?
Nicole: Green, Orange and Yellow
Boss: What's your favorite?
Nicole: Mmm... green.
Boss: Give me one.

So I gave him a green folder. He stuffed some papers in it and shoved it in my hands and then turned around and left. I just figured it was nasty HR stuff that I had to send out. I opened it and it is an out-of-cycle merit increase, which in lamens terms means boss man is giving me a raise. A BIG raise! It is so completely wonderful to know how appreciated I am. And that goes for everything - work, life, family, friends. When someone lets me know that they respect me and genuinely appreciate what I do for them, that automatically puts this giagantic cheesball smile on my face.

The next wonderful thing of the day: I trusted this fabulous new friend to highlight my hair - 9 days before my wedding! She is Dave's boss' wife. Her name is Winnie. I thought she was cool as hell anyway, and now to know that she can actually do what I ask with my hair, oh, I'm sold for life! And she fed me wine and white cheddar cheese popcorn. Good day!

I know I never wrote a blog about the bachelorette party, but that's mostly because (a) the pictures pretty much explain the weekend, and (b) there quite possibly may not be words to describe just how much I love Erin, Megan, Emily and Catherine. Megan planned the whole penis-filled weekend. She excelled, just as expected. I love you 4 like my own family. God only know where I'd be without you. I had so much fun that weekend and I truly owe it all to you ladies. Thank you!

Might I add, Dave's weekend wasn't too shabby either. I collaborated with his work buddies and his closest out-of-town buddies to put together a bachelor party for him the same weekend. About 15 of them ended up on some crazy sailboat with 2 stippers that Friday night. Needless to say, not one of them could hang Saturday night. The girls could though... all the while I was laying on bartops having shots poured down my pretty little bride-to-be throat. Hell yeah.

All in all, my life is amazing. I am so lucky and damn I know it. I have this amazing man that I get to call my husband in about a week; my friends care about me so freaking much that I don't even know how to thank them for caring about me that freaking much. Even though the move to Charleston was hard at first, look at me now - I have a killer job and a boss who really does think a lot of me. I must admit, I can't ask for much more. I win

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Patters the Seagull

Dave and I went to sit on the beach today because we're actually in town for once. We spent most of the time playing in the water, but we had to get out eventually and dry off so that we could go eat some guacamole at Taco Boy. Well, we sat back in our chairs and there was the group of disheveled seagulls hanging out near us. We noticed one in particular...he was dancing. I'm not even kidding. The bird would stomp his feet as fast as he could and then spin in a circle while bobbing his head and still stomping his little teeny feet. And he was going really fast! It kinda looked like that running-in-place workout stuff that football players do. And he did this nonstop! Other seagulls would fly away or go do something else, like search for sand crabs, or whatever seagulls do, and he just stayed in this little area just stomping around. We named him Patters, like "pitter patter," because that's all his little feet did. You could even hear him stomping around... I have no idea what this bird's problem was but needless to say, he entertained us for the remainder of the afternoon. Crazy seagull.

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Are We There Yet?

After reading Catherine's blog, I just realized that I haven't written anything since like July. That's lame. But it also makes sense that I haven't written anything since then because I feel like I have been too busy to enjoy anything enough to write about it. That's not completely true since there have been some really awesome events in the past few months (ex: Jenni's wedding, my bridal shower, Emily's bachelorette party, Megan's bachelorette party, and Emily's wedding) – these things were wonderful, left me exhausted, but wonderful.

In the midst of being this busy, I think I lost myself. All I do is plan the wedding and go to tons of wedding related events. I now understand how brides turn into bridezillas… yes, planning is fun, but it is extremely difficult when we have to travel 400 miles almost every weekend to go finalize this thing or make a decision about that. In the grand scheme of things, who cares how tall my cake is or what kinds of leaves are in my bouquet – think about how ridiculous that is?! But nonetheless, I got sucked into it all because I want everything to be so pretty and wonderful and have a "Nicole touch". I should have focused my attention more on the fact that I am marrying Dave, not how everything is going to look while I'm marrying him…

Ugh.

I had a mini breakdown this week, well, it might have been more than mini… I realize that I have no idea what makes me happy and I have no idea what the hell I want to do with my life. (This statement does not refer to Dave though because he is the only thing that makes sense.) I realize that I do the things that I have to do and I stick to what is routine… this even relates to what station I leave my Sirius radio on… I made myself turn the dumb thing off and put in one of my old Dave Matthew's CDs. I have no idea how long it's been since I chilled to DMB. Made me feel like Nicole again, just a little bit. I did the same thing this morning; I played a Matchbox 20 CD. Some of you might know that I was one of those people completely obsessed with music, especially music that actually had lyrics worth listening to… then, somewhere along the way, I decided I didn't want to listen to anything that made me think, thus the techno phase.

I understand that I haven't figured myself out since I moved away from Clemson. I knew who I was there – I was this maniac bar fanatic who partied like it was her job and all the while maintained a GPA somewhere around a 4.0. No, I don't really know how either… I had my circle of friends that were basically my new adopted family and we spent so much of our time together. I was so freaking happy there! And I was fun. I'm not really fun anymore… and that makes me sad.

When I knew Dave was moving, I knew in my heart that I could not live away from him. I was so in love with him and had wanted to date him for like freaking 2 years so once we finally were together, I didn't want him to leave me. So I went with him – which was great because now we get to marry each other in a month!! But that move broke me, to an extent… I never figured out how to define myself here. And that is something I am still struggling with. And I know its "okay" to not know, but I am sick of not knowing. I've always had some kind of plan and it makes me tear up knowing that when I try to visualize what the hell I am supposed to be doing, I can't see anything. It's blank. Well, it's blank when I try to visualize my career. What is scary and disgusting is that the only thing I can see is me being a mom. Which is so ironic and gross because I hate kids. But that's what I know I will succeed at one day.

I'm ready to get married and stop planning to get married. I just want to be there already and stop anticipating it -- its like some crazy road trip that turned out to be 300 miles too long... It's worn me out. I just want to stay at home with my fiancé for once and hang out. I need things to slow down a little bit so I can actually enjoy myself. And I need to quit being this weird person that I don't even know and just be Nicole again.

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House Warming Party

We threw our House Warming party this past Saturday. At first, I was all concerned with how undecorated and unfurniturized the house was... by 4:00 AM Sunday morning, I was glad I hadn't bothered to buy things or seriously decorate considering the place was a sticky, beer smelling mess. Glad we bough super strength carpet cleaner.

I think we had about 30 people over... which equaled out to about 8 cases of beer, 2 bottles of Grey Goose, 1 bottle of Jager and 1 bottle of SoCo. No, I don't understand how we are alive either. Especially after Winnie's shots -- so we all cheers-ed each other and took a huge sip. We all then made the same God-awful face; some of us swallowed the burning liquid, some of us (like myself) simply could not handle it, and spit every last drop back into their shot glass/paper cup. It is extremely possible that I was the only one who did that, however I like to believe I was not.

The night consisted of card games around a tiny table outside, dancing in the kitchen where the kitchen table would have been, eating my fabulous dip off of the coffee table and telling completely assonine drunken stories. Perfection, if you ask me.

So thanks to all who helped break in/break our new home. It was awesome and as soon as I convince Dave to do it all again, we will. Get excited.

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