The Napkin Diaries

Given the circumstances of the bullshit that has surrounded the previous 24 hours, I felt compelled to share the lyrics of a song that could not put the situation into any better perspective. Wait did I say 24 hours? I meant year...it all just came to a nice ugly ass head in the past day. The song is called You Thought Wrong by Kelly Clarkson and Tamyra Gray, and it's about this jackass who attempted to play both girls. Luckily for the girls however, they were smarter than the boy and exposed him for the lying, manipulative son of a bitch he is. Enjoy.

-Tamyra-
I see how you're tryin to
Weasel your way in boy
Know how you maneuver
With all your confusion

-Kelly-
You tell me that I'm your only,
And how bad that you want me
Then why are you so shady,
If I'm supposed to be your lady?

-Tamyra-
Why should I believe
Anything you say?
And how could you shame me that way?

-Kelly-
Tell me where,
Where'd you get the nerve
To even think that you,
You could play me boy?

-Both-
You thought that we didn't know
You thought we were in the dark
But boy you've done us wrong
Cuz we both know now
You thought you had us both
At your beck 'n call
But now who's the joke?
And look who's laughin' now

-Kelly-
Now you're tryin to use us,

-Tamyra-
Against one another but it won't work

-Kelly-
I see right through your game boy

-Tamyra-
And I know exactly what I'm in for

-Kelly-
You, you try to deny all your actions

-Tamyra-
For once in your life be a real man

-Kelly-
At least give me the proper respect of

-Tamayra-
The truth

-Both-
When I already know you did it

-Kelly-
Why should I believe
Anything you say?
And how could you shame me that way?

-Tamyra-
Tell me where
Where'd you get the nerve
To even think that you
You could play me boy

-Both-
You thought we didn't know
You thought we were in the dark
But boy your cover's blown
Cuz we both know now
You that you had us both
At you beck 'n call
But now who's the joke?
And look who's laughin' now
I see what you do baby
Tryin' to tell me you want me
Can't you just get it through your,
Get it through your thick head?
Cuz I've seen this game before
And I'm showin' you the door so
Shut your mouth
I'm not tryin to hear your lies
No not again

-Tamyra-
no, no not again...

-Kelly-
Sorry you couldn't be a better man
Oh...
No no no

-Both-
No, no, no, no, NO
You thought we didn't know
You thought we were in the dark
But boy you've done us wrong
Cuz we both know now
You thought you had us both
At your beck 'n call
But now who's the joke?
And look who's laughin' now

-Kelly-
Guess you thought wrong

-Tamyra-
Look who's laughin' now

So exactly how is it my fault if my ex boyfriend still calls me, texts me, looks at my pictures and reads my blog? really. I'd like to know how I control any of this. See, funny thing is, I'm the bad guy in the situation because he still talks to me. Sorry if I remain friends with someone after we had a relationship. And sorry if your ass can't deal with it. I'm not the one lying to you or hiding things from you, missy, so get your facts straight before you threaten to "post my blog" on your little webpage. Which actually, would be fine with me if you did, because I don't really know how that makes me look bad, you know? If you really have that much of a problem with me, then why don't you just talk to me? I'm actually not that scary. And the truth is, your "boyfriend" has been claiming to be single for a good many months now. So I'm sorry that you are being lied to. He did the same shit to me and Catherine. And amazingly, neither of us are actually psycho. Don't worry, he'll tell the next girl you are just as insane... so you might want to reconsider just who it is you are so angry with.

And please don't worry - I would never go back to him. And I have never intentionally tried to fuck you over -- I actually didn't know you were even still seeing him, based on what he'd told me. And I also can't control the fact that he is the one calling me 3 times a day instead of spending time with you. I mean, he's a cool guy and we had fun, but I've moved on and I have an amazing man in my life, now. So good luck. And really, if you need to talk to me, just talk.

Okay, so my phone rang today around 1:00, and it was Adam. He was like, "so can I ask you something?" Of course I said yes and he responded with, "well I was wondering if you would want an autographed CD from Ryan Cabrera." YES! Ohmygah, see, I love Ryan Cabrera. He is quite possibly my favorite artist. And I would marry him pretty much. Now I am sure you are wondering how Adam was planning on going about getting this CD for me -- he works for the biggest radio station in Columbia, 104.7 WNOK, and they sent him to pick up Ryan from the airport so he could do a private show later tonight. I was completely bouncing off the walls. Way exciting. Stuff like this doesn't happen. So then around 4:00, Adam called again and I got to hear Ryan singing in the background, which again was completely awesome. And then around 6:00 Adam called again. So I answered the phone by just saying, "heeey," and the voice on the other end said, "Hey Nicole." I was like "This isn't Adam..." The voice was like, "yeah it is.... nah, this is Ryan." This was the part where I secretly screamed on the inside and pretended to be cool on the outside. I was like, "Wow, hey Ryan, what's up?!" He told me that they were hanging out having a good time and then he was like, "well where are you?" I was like, "Well, I'm in Clemson." He was like, "Man, too bad you can't come hang with us." I am actually still considering getting in the car... I told him that Adam definitely knows how to have a good time, so he is in good hands. And he was like, "awesome, it was cool to talk to you, Nicole." So I hung up the phone and screamed. Holy crap!! RYAN CABRERA called me!! Yaaaaaay!! And major props to Adam for thinking of me and getting Ryan to call! Wow. Way wow.