Mexico: It's Gettin' Hot in Here

Good news people, I took the little stupid finger splint off so now typing, writing, shampooing and living in general have become much easier. Do you even know how much you use your pinky?! Sheesh...
So, lets go back to Mexico (please?) and continue our little recap of my wonderful trip. Husband and I are always up for a little adventure or two. I knew I wanted to do something nuts (like zipline over 2000 feet of the Mexican jungle) and he'd most likely want to do something "smart" like go learn about history. He always wants me to learn... perhaps he is trying to tell me that my knowledge of tanning beds, pedicures and high heels just isn't vast enough. So he suggested we go see Chichen Itza, the 5th Modern Wonder of ze World.
So Wednesday morning we get up at the ass-crack of dawn to take the 2.5 hour journey to the Yucatan Peninsula to see these crazy Mayan pyramids. We were loaded on to this little skeezy van first and the driver didn't shut the door all the way, so you could hear the palm trees wooshing by and you could see the pavement through the crack of the door. Oh God, I have to ride like this for 2.5 hours? Kill.me.now. About 10 minutes into the trip, the driver pulls off the road pretty quickly in front of a Quicky Mart. I thought they wanted coffee but instead they told us to get out. What the hell?! Then I looked in front of us and saw the massive bus that was going to take us. Oh. I'm an idiot. So, as soon as we board the bus, the crazy driver & hosts bust out the 40s of Corona. It seriously was no later than 9 AM. We passed. I didn't want to wander around some foreign tourist trap with a buzz and wind up getting kidnapped or something. I'm so paranoid.
About an hour into our drive, we stopped at a cenote (a pool of water underground that formed when the earth decided to collapse into the underground river). There was like a billion people, it was like a billion degrees and there was no way in hell I was going to jump off a 30 foot cliff into a pool of underground water. I took pictures of the fools who did. We got some really awesome pictures and then boarded the bus to get to our final destination. More beer was offered. I still declined because (1) I didn't want to get kidnapped (because obviously I am more prone to kidnapping when I'm intoxicated... or so says my logic) and (2) I don't even think I drank beer at 9 AM during Spring Break when I was damn 18 years old and (3) I have a finicky stomach and feared morning beer would give me Montezuma's Revenge (which we'll discuss later...which I inevitably contracted).
So we finally made it to Chichen Itza. And it's pretty awesome. It's also at least 110 degrees in the middle of the afternoon. In June. In Mexico. Dear God, why? We trekked around for 3 hours looking at all of the giant pyramids and walls and columns. So it gets so hot that I actually do the tacky sleeve-roll up thing and tucked my sleeves into my bra straps. An hour later, I got even tackier and moved my cute, low side ponytail to a big fluffy crooked knot on top of my head. And finally, a half hour later, I did the tackiest of all, and tucked the bottom of my shirt up so my entire middle was hanging out in the sweltering heat. I didn't care! I was so damn hot! I seriously was dizzy and having trouble breathing. Thank God I didn't have any more hair on my head or fat on my body because I would have so overheated and died.
We found some shade which happened to be where all the little Mayan vendors were hanging out so we bought stuff from 3 out of the 300 of them. It got a little annoying after the 50th one approached us "$1, $1... half off... free." Even after we bought stuff, they were like "one more, one more" and when we told them we had "no dinero" they were like "okay, then it's free!" Bah. Leave us alone, already! We bought a "good fortune" mask that is pretty scary looking, an obsidian statue of some kind of cat (puma? jaguar? tabby?) and a pretty necklace for me.
After our long, hot tour of the ruins, we were fed some really gross lunch. Like, really gross. And then we got back on the bus... where there was more beer. And this time, I was too hot, too tired and too flustered to worry about being kidnapped so I openly welcomed the cup after cup of Corona from a 40. And about 3 hours later, when we returned to the resort, I was happily buzzed and finally back to a normal temperature.
So while it was absolutely awesome to see the 5th Wonder of the World, it might have been a lot better to have done so, say in the snow. Because 100+ degrees just doesn't work for me.

Next Up: Ziplines & Ricky Bobby

2 Response to "Mexico: It's Gettin' Hot in Here"

  1. Queen Amanda Says:

    So would you say that beer saved the day? :P
    Or is it more X-treme and beer saved your life!?

  2. Nicole Says:

    Beer always saves the day. :)