"Breaking" News

Uhh, so I can't really type since I had a little mishap this weekend. Want to hear the lamest story ever? Okay, here it goes:
I'm the clumsiest hoomin on earth. I was at the beach Saturday and I have one of those excellent lounge chairs that folds out 3 times so you can prop your feet up or lay on your stomach. Well I was trying to lay down on my back so I put my left hand out to brace myself. I managed to miscalculate where my hand was going to land, and instead of bracing myself, I crumpled my left pinky into the metal "gear" of the chair. Note: I wear fake ass nails, so when the gear went up under my nail, there was immediate intense pain. And blood. I held my finger as tight as I could and tried to hold back tears and cuss words. My finger nail now feels similar to a loose tooth...which gives me the heebie jeebies.
I held some ice on it and toughed it out. My father-in-law made me a stout bourbon & ginger when we got back to the condo and I just wrapped it tightly in a band aid. I woke up Sunday still with a heartbeat in my pinky and now also some yellow ooze under my nail. Crap. I WebMd'd that shit and it basically said "see a doctor, you idiot." So, Husband and I spent our afternoon at the Urgent Care. The nurse was like "so when's the last time you got a tetnis shot? How about a flu shot? What about a pneumonia shot?" I was like "uhhhh."
So I now figured I'd be getting 3 shots along with someone trying to clean out the ooze from my mangled finger. Not cool.
Much to my surprise, the doctor opted for some x-rays. He thought I had fractured my finger! Who fractures their finger trying to sit down?! Seriously. I got to see the x-ray and it actually looked like there was a teeny crack near the top of my finger. The doctor told me it wasn't fractured though - just jammed all to hell.
So now I get to wear this wicked splint all taped with white medical tape and take some pain killers and tell people that I'm a klutz and almost break bones while trying to sit my fat ass in a beach chair. Moron.
So needless to say, I will not be typing more of the Mexico Mini-series until I can use all 10 digits. Doh.

1 Response to ""Breaking" News"

  1. Queen Amanda Says:

    Let me know if you need a ghost typer. You can talk, I'll type... :P