People Change

i feel like i've grown up a lot in the past year or two, and for a few good reason. i graduated college, began grad school, got serious with dave and moved in with him, and just stopped acting like i was still 21. i feel like most of my friends have grown up the way i have, also. it's hard to explain, but it seems that the love and respect we have for each other has grown too - especially the respect.
i guess i'm just at a point where i realize that some people aren't going to change. they will continue to use me and walk all over me and just expect me to be there whenever needed. and that smells like bullshit, if you ask me. i think i am a really genuine person and a very good friend. hell, i know i am. and it's not fair to feel like some people abuse that. yeah it's true that i don't hold grudges and i will always give second, third... ninth chances, but that doesn't mean that you should allow yourself to let me give you that ninth chance, you know? i'm sick of it.
it's sad because i know i've grown apart from people that i used to be really close with. or at least i feel differently about them, mostly for the reasons i listed above just about feeling walked all over. and another thing that totally pisses me off is to hear that someone is "only friends with dave for nicole's sake." really? what the fuck? you know, if you don't like him, or can't even try to like him and you are supposed to be one of my closest friends, then fuck you. i'm going to marry this man and if all you have to say is negative things about him, then either don't be friends with us anymore, or get over it. because i'm not just nicole anymore, i come with dave now. we're a couple and we are always going to be. do not insult either of us.
i realize this is one of the angriest blogs i've written, but i feel too strongly to not write about it. it's shitty to know that i always gave someone the benefit of the doubt, even when other people would speak poorly, and in return, i get belittled. i end up feeling like shit by someone whom i've stuck up for time and time again. and what do i get out of it? looking at it, it seems like things just changed, i guess. or maybe i just see things for what they really are finally... i'm sad and hurt and angry. i was a good friend.

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