WTF, Mate?

We accidentally had a party at our apartment Saturday night. Dave, Joe, Shawn, Corey and Dan came over to entertain Erin and me. While 7 people may not seem destructive... don't be fooled. Especially by this particular group. First, we played What the F*ck? The outrageous drinking game wherein you are posed with assonine questions such as "The director of Baywatch asks you to appear in an episode as a drowned victim wearing only a thong. Do you appear in the show?" and "As you age, what would you rather resemble? (a) A horse's ass (b) A waffle iron." Then you are supposed to guess the answer of the person who was asked the question... if you get it wrong, you drink. Needless to say, we all got drunk. At some point, I went to the bathroom and when I returned I found that everything on the table was now on the floor and there was somewhat of a mini panic occurring. Apparently Dan's big feet got in the way and knocked over the whole damned table. Including my last glass of Reunite! (For those of you who drink expensive wine, you many not be aware that Reunite is a "soft red" that basically is sparkingly grapejuice that you find in Ingles for $8 a gallon that gets me way drunk. Yay, cheap date.) So we gathered some cleaning supplies, pretended to clean and continued to play ridiculous games. At this point I think we were playing Circle of Death. Well, I don't know exactly what sparked Erin to do the following... maybe it was banging her head into the doorframe, maybe it was falling on her ass... but I believe it was her who threw a couple of cards from the game at one of the boys. So, they threw some cards back. Then Erin launched the entire deck of cards and the remote control. We all then began to participate in the "throw anything you can find" game. The aftermath looked like a bit of a tornado happened in 148 K. There were 2 decks of cards, 500 sweet tarts, wet paper towels, dry paper towels, chips, pillows, beer cans and other assorted objects strewn about the apartment. Apparently, that game led to another game... of Joe and Corey wrestling in the kitchen. Erin tried to break them up and got quasi-beat up in the processs. Bloody knee, to be exact. Her efforts went unnoticed. So, I chose to step in and take action... with the water sprayer from the sink. I sprayed the hell out of them, all the while taunting them by saying things like, "Yeah. See? How do you like that? That'll make you jackasses stop wrestling!" Karma's a bitch and of course, they retaliated and got me soaked, in turn. Joe used a bowl in the sink to splash all over me, to be exact. At least I got the bastards to stop before they broke my kitchen. We left the apartment a disgusting, wet disaster and went downtown. It sucked. I spilled amaretto sour all over me, and I think I grew out of downtown Clemson. So, we rode the catbus home. Ha. Good times.

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