what the fuck is a grandpuppy?

okay so tonight was human growth and development with dr. babble ass. i will leave her anonymous for now, so as not to destroy my grade if she were to ever get ahold of this particular entry. holy freaking god. save me. please. or shoot me. okay first, being that we are in the counseling field, we should be people that others would see as someone they would want to seek help from, right? well, dr. human damn development does not fall into the someone i want to seek counseling from category. see, dr. growth, is well, just that... growthy. not a small woman, to put it nicely. frumpy, big scraggly hair, crooked yellowy teeth, some dandruff, some splotchiness, and some just not goodness exuding from her. grooooss. i mean, nice, i guess, just not easy on the eyes. which again goes along with the idea of her not being someone i want to seek help from.
so she bumbles about for 3 hours, discussing the syllabus in too much detail, her family and how they lived without indoor plumbing back in the 1700s, her opinion on school programs which according to her do not reflect the opinions of clemson as a whole.... and she also forced us to play the "lets get to know each other game" -- you know, the one where you introduce your new friend and tell interesting facts about them the way we did when we were in the second fucking grade? yeah, big yay for the get to know me game. she got a little twitterpated when i was like "yeah i have my tragus pierced." ha. she thought i was being foul. that was funny. oh yeah, and we were so lucky as to learn about her extended family as well -- she decided to share with us about her grandpuppy. Really, what the fuck is a grandpuppy?! She's all like "OMG, I could talk about my grandpuppy for hours, so if you want to know anything about my grandpuppy, you just ask me and we can talk about grandpuppies." this is the part where i screamed on the inside and tried to smile on the outside. difficult task. and like, of all things to elaborate on, who picks grandpuppies? come to find out, i thought that a grandpuppy might be a puppy from other puppies, you know, like a whole generation of puppies. no. wrong thought process. apparently a grandpuppy is the pseudo child of your own child. who knew?
whatever. so we get through class. which mind you, was no easy situation. ugh. she is all disorganized, scatterbrained, and frumpy. and frumpy is not okay in my book. makes my learning abilities plummit when you are frumpy. gah. so she babbles on about these crazy papers we have to write and like, as a class, we were discussing shit since she did in fact put us into shit-discussing groups... and then, without warning, proceeds to say, "raise your right hand if you can hear me." people in the class actually gasped "whhaaat?" and nicely refrained from adding "the fuck" to the end of their flabbergastedness. like, its one of those moments when your jaw lowers slightly, your eyelids get heavy, you shove your chin into your chest and only moderately raise your eyebrows and think to yourself, "did i really just witness this?" lord help us. and especially help erin, who has the misfortune of having to experience the frumpy growthy beast for now a second time. poor child. she will need help after this. but not from her of course. as we've learned, dr. human growth ass is not the one we seek out when our lives are a spiraling death whirlwind of disaster.

1 Response to "what the fuck is a grandpuppy?"

  1. Derrick Says:

    grandpuppy is not in urbandictionary.com--i checked. still dont know wtf it is. btw, nicole, your tragus is showing. lol.